need not apply
Nowhere.Ink is Open
We are currently accepting submissions for our anthology of obscene and dirty Limericks.
Accepted pieces will be featured in a collection of hilarious and ingenious works and published as an e-book. The intent is to pull from the dankest, most grotesque areas of your mind and turn it into comedic art.
We understand that the concoction of rhyming smut takes serious skill and poetic prowess, and for this reason, we would like to share this labor of love with you.
Just read the
Submission Information and Guidelines first, please.
Submission Information and Guidelines
Nowhere.Ink is not a publishing company.
We have asked for the aid of PoetsIN Publishing to make the book of filthy Limericks possible. Nowhere.Ink is an avid supporter of this awarded charity (who has a sharp sense of humor, if we do say so ourselves), and we are beyond thrilled to work hand-in-hand with them through this lyrical endeavor.
"PoetsIN Publishing is an extension of PoetsIN, a registered charity that uses the power of words to strengthen and rehabilitate people in and out of the prison system, to help people learn to cope with mental illnesses, and to help banish the stigma of mental illness as a whole. It is Publishing with a Purpose. It is our goal to make a positive impact and to help change lives."
- About Us: PoetsIN Publishing
PoetsIN, Registered Charity: 1174754
All proceeds awarded to this anthology will be donated to PoetsIN.
Payment per Limerick is not applicable at this time. All profits will be directed to PoetsIN in support of their outstanding and proven efforts in healing and rehabilitation of UK prison residents.
Submissions will be accepted until August 31, 2018.
We will accept simultaneous submissions, but we ask that you immediately contact us via this submission form if your piece(s) are accepted elsewhere.
You may send unlimited Limericks. We do ask that you send only six at once, each separated by four spaces. Please do not send more than six Limericks per submission page.
You will receive a confirmation e-mail within 24 hours of your submission. If you do not, please contact us via this form.
After submission confirmation, please allow us eight weeks to contact you regarding acceptance. If you do not hear from us within that timeframe, feel free to contact us again with the subject heading "RE: LIMERICK SUBMISSION."
"Limerick is a comic verse, containing five anapestic (unstressed/unstressed/stressed) lines, in which the first, second, and fifth lines are longer, rhyme together, and follow three metrical feet. The third and fourth lines rhyme together, are shorter, and follow two metrical feet.
However, sometimes it may vary, and amphibrachic (unstressed/stressed/unstressed) form can replace anapestic. In fact, it is a bawdy, humorous, or nonsensical verse written in the form of five anapests, with an aabba rhyme scheme. Since it has a special structure and format, it is called fixed or closed form of poetry."
For more information regarding the structure of Limerick, please click here.
Here's where it gets smutty.
Nowhere.Ink is asking for a specific brand of potty humor. Send us your sexually deranged, body-fluid driven, and most grotesque of grotesque humor.
A light example of what we're looking for is this:
"I once had a very short penis
women would laugh at its wee-ness
so I strapped on a rock
to help lengthen my cock
and now they're amused by its leanness"
- Miles Nowhere
As you can see, this will not be a children's book.
Almost anything goes. Do not be shy. On judgment, we're looking at humor, shock value, format, and theme compatibility.